Imagine hiring a phenomenal crew to design creepy monsters, set up gorgeous atmospheric lighting, and execute some genuinely cool camera work—only to throw all of that goodwill straight into the garbage disposal the second a character speaks. That is the tragedy of Tarot (2024).

The visual department deserves an award, or at least a heartfelt apology, because their hard work is chained to an excruciatingly stupid script. There are moments of genuine visual flair, utilizing practical effects and clever framing to bring cursed tarot cards to life. But every time a glimmer of tension builds, one of the college-aged protagonists makes a decision so bafflingly moronic that it shatters the illusion entirely.

The cast is a mixed bag, to put it politely. Jacob Batalon (best known as Ned from the MCU Spider-Man films) is present, and his character vapes with such relentless, aggressive frequency that you have to assume they just let him bring his real-life habit to set to keep him quiet. On the other end of the spectrum, we have Olwen Fouéré playing Alma, the obligatory older occult expert. She is the only believable actor in the entire production. Naturally, because she is the only enjoyable part of the film, she is rewarded with the absolute smallest amount of screen time and a staggeringly quick death.

If you are a cinematography nerd who wants to study lighting tricks and cool monster reveals, you might find some value here. Just do yourself a massive favor and watch it on mute. If you actually care about characters, dialogue, or basic logic, leave this deck untouched.